It’s not easy to know what to say to someone grieving. You don’t want to say someone hurtful, superfluous or silly. Instead, you simply want to convey the message that you are sorry for their loss without sounding completely cliche and hollow.

This is not a simple task, whether you know the person intimately or they are only a work colleague or acquaintance. So Four Oaks Healthcare has put together this guide on how to talk to someone grieving so that you can express your sympathies in a way that the recipient will appreciate.

How to talk to someone in grief

If someone has recently experienced the death of a loved one, whether it was sudden or as the result of a protracted illness like Huntington’s Disease, they will be particularly sensitive and vulnerable. This is well-understood, but many people are not well-equipped to use sensitivity and tact when talking with someone in grief.

When approaching someone who has just suffered a loss, try not to be jolly, energetic or overly conversational. Many people tend to ramble on when they are uncomfortable, so keep the conversation short and focus on the delivery of your words of support.

What to say when someone dies

As we’ve mentioned, the way that you express your sympathies can be just as important as the words you say. For example, a hug or a squeeze of the hand is a good gesture to express sympathy for someone’s grief. That said, finding the right words is also very important. 

Any one of the below suggestions would be appropriate to say to someone who is grieving. Some are better suited to individuals you know well, while others are appropriate for acquaintances and colleagues. 

Here is what to say when someone when someone dies:

1. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers. 
2. I am so sorry about your loss. If you ever feel like talking, please don’t hesitate to call me.
3. Margaret brought so much joy to everyone around her. She will be missed by many.
4. My favourite memory of John is …, I will always remember that day.
5. I’m sorry that I don’t have the right words, but just know that I care and am thinking about you.
6. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
7. John was such a generous and kind-hearted person. He will be missed by everyone whose lives he touched.
8. We all need help at times like this, I’m here for you if you need anything, or have anything on your heart that you want to talk about.
9. I’ll miss Casey’s sweet smile and amazing muffins. Please know that I’ll be praying for you and your family.
10. There are no words to tell you how sorry I am. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Conclusion on what to say when someone passes away

Knowing what to say when someone passes is not easy, but expressing your sympathies is an important part of connecting with the person who is grieving. After all, this is a time in their lives when they should feel loved and supported, and knowing that you care will be meaningful to them.

If you don’t feel able to say words of comfort, you can say nothing. Just give them a hug and be with them.

If you have a loved one who is dealing with a prolonged disease or who is elderly and in need of care, contact us today.